There is a suffocating feeling that has been pressing down on me for the last couple of days. Exhaustion and a sense of sadness has wrapped its arms around me, squeezing me ever so tightly. Life before was so easy to glide through like a bird soaring over an open field. Now, thoughts of reality have stumped my going forward, making even small tasks harder to perform.
This is what happens when something devastating happens to someone that has been a part of your life for so long. When there is nothing you can personally do but hold their hand and let them know that you are with them.
Questions of why want to rise up in my consciousness but I must push them away and focus on the truth. The truth lies in the fact that this person has been an undeserved gift along the journey of life. I never earned this friendship nor could ever recreate it even if I tried. I just need to treasure these times, even as difficult as they are.
Tears are falling and I heave a sigh that wants to explode inside of me. But I must turn away from sorrow and remember Jesus’s words, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) I must hold onto these words with all of my might as I continue down this path, ever knowing that He speaks the truth.
Thank you for getting this out and breathing……not all of God’s Soldiers look the same. I have always loved you and I always will.