Category Archives: growth

Goodness in the Pain

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It was clear that Carl’s sister was agitated and was not going to tolerate the attention that Carl was receiving from all of the grownups in the room. Her eyes zeroed in and her body began to shiver. The hair on the nap of her neck was raised and before anyone could stop the quarrel, she charged in on her prey.

Immediately, the adults in the room started screaming and attempted to pull the two bulldogs a part. After a couple of horrifying moments, the dogs were separated.  Carl was immediately surrounded by concerned women with sympathetic words and soft pets to his head.

As I gazed into his deep brown eyes, it was clear that he was loving all of the attention he was receiving. As the women inspected his hurt paw, Carl sat as still as possible and looked down with a forlorn expression indicating that he was definitely hurt and would appreciate all the tender loving care they wanted to provide.

The situation was quite alarming for the women who experienced the two dogs fighting at their feet. As for Carl, it was very disturbing and quite painful. But even in the midst of the pain, there was an ounce of good in it.

How can I say there is good when there is pain present? When I was twelve, I was in a serious motor boat accident that left me scarred for life. I was thrown out of a boat and ended up in the exact path of the propeller. After the blades had made mincemeat of my left arm and side, I was rushed to Duke Hospital where I spent one of the most painful nights of my life.

So how can I say there is good when pain is present? I would never wish what happened to me on anyone but I can tell you that something incredible occurred during the pain. An awareness stemmed from that particular day of pain. An awareness that I had a purpose in my life.

Jeremiah 29:11 is a verse that I hold close to my heart because I truly believe it was not only given to the Israelites but to anyone that may not understand the pain in their lives.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I would never want to relive that summer day in 1969. But as crazy as it sounds, I am grateful for the experience because I believe that God had a purpose in the pain to awaken me to His presence.

It would be great to hear your story on how God changed your life through pain.

As for Carl, he nursed his womb all night long and was still limping in the morning. I am sure he will be fine in the near future, but in the meantime, he sure seems to be enjoying all the attention he is receiving.

 

Taking a Ride with God

 

Hillary a!

I know that some of you are wondering why in the world Bee is riding in a buggy.  Well first of all, she is my baby (ba-Bee). Second, if you look closely, her snout is pressed close to her face which doesn’t give her the airway that her brother Carl has.

Lately, we have noticed that Bee, my French Bull dog, has difficulty walking the three miles that doesn’t impact Carl in the slightest. So when my husband saw a doggy stroller online for only $25.00, we thought we would give it a try.

I wish I could tell you that the first ride in the stroller went without a hitch, but I can’t. Bee couldn’t understand why she had to ride, even though she was winded.  In the first five minutes, she lunged out of the stroller and thankfully landed a couple of feet in front of the buggy.

Just like Bee, there are times that we can’t understand why our ride through life has changed up. We want to walk like we always have but God wants us to take a ride. I am sure Moses felt this way when he met up with God. For most of his adult life, Moses worked for his father-in-law as a shepherd. He was minding his own business when God turned his world upside down.

I am sure Moses didn’t see life beyond the fields that he lived in as he shepherded his flock. But God had other plans for Moses and his insecure self. Moses tried to tell God that he wasn’t the man for the job but God knew better. Instead of walking his usual walk, God had him on the ride of his life. Exodus 3

Have you ever had a time in your life that you went from walking to taking a ride with God?  Were you eager to ride or did you react like Bee and jump out of the vehicle?

Carl also took a ride at the end of the walk. He also wasn’t crazy about being confined and it was clear he only wanted to get out and strut beside his sister. We aren’t giving up on our purchase. So if you are driving down the road and see us pushing a carriage, please come over to say hello to our ba-Bee.

 

On Hands and Knees

This time I had to defend Carl in the incident that occurred in the depths of the night. I had an idea by Bee’s behavior that there would be an episode but I was just too tired to get out of bed to deal with it. I wish I had at least tried to stop what was about to occur but as we all know hind sight is best.IMG_2804

Bee was ready for the altercation with her brother and there was nothing I could do as the two bullies charged at each other. Thankfully, this exchange was over almost as quickly as it began. Something had caused the dogs to separate and make their way back to their beds. As I turned on the light and saw the mess, I realized why they had retreated.

This altercation was nothing compared to the one that Jesus caused when He entered the temple right before his crucifixion. “And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all who sold and bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you make it a den of robbers.” Matthew 21: 12-13.

I am sure Jesus didn’t make any friends on this day. Coming into the most important building in the city and turning over tables of the money-changers had to turn some heads. How could one man be so bold as to confront these men that were making money for Caiaphas, the high priest?

Because Jesus knew that selling sacrifices for extremely high prices to the people that were coming to make a sacrifice was wrong and angered God. Given that Jesus came to implement God’s plan on earth, He didn’t have an option but to address this wickedness in God’s sight.

So right before the eyes of everyone in the temple, Jesus knocked over tables and called them robbers.

This incident challenges me to be willing to do God’s will even when it isn’t popular with the general public. I just hope that I will consider what is meaningful to God the next time I see a situation that doesn’t please Him.

As for the mess that lay in front of me, I knew I had to deal with it as quickly as possible.  The short incident between my dogs had ended because of a glass of water that had been knocked off my bed side table. Apparently the water had startled the dogs and caused them to pull away and withdraw to the safety of their beds.

Once I turned the light on and looked in the direction of my pooches, I had to smile at how innocent they appeared. It was hard to stay mad at them, even if they woke me from my sleep and caused me to be on my hands and knees cleaning up their mess.IMG_2372

 

 

 

A Carl Pop

Carl refused to move. It was clear that he was cold because his entire body shook but never the less, he wouldn’t budge. This was a particularly cold day with temperatures in the low 20’s and I didn’t want to stand there and argue with my little bull headed bully.

Being hard headed is one attribute of my little dog that hasn’t changed for the three years that Carl has lived with us. No matter my strategy, he will not budge unless he can see the treat that he desires.

I have to admit that I can also be hard headed in certain areas of my life. And I have also noted that the older I get, these areas have extended to other parts that were earlier unoccupied. Age and experience can give us wisdom but it can also increase our pride if we are not careful.

I am sure Jesus’ disciples thought they knew everything they needed to know about God and what they had to do in order to enter His kingdom. Peter is a perfect example of this. He seemed to be the kind of person that spoke before thinking through what he should say. This makes him very relatable.

In Matthew 16, Jesus is telling his disciple how he has to go to Jerusalem and suffer many things. Even after being with Jesus for years, Peter just doesn’t get it. He thinks he knows more than Jesus and even has the audacity to pull him aside and rebuke him.

Well you can guess that this doesn’t go well. Jesus turns to Peter and tells him to his face, “Get behind me Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God but on the things of man.” Matthew 16:23

How often do we set our mind on the things of man without thinking about the long term implications?  It can be so easy to think we know what is best for ourselves and leave God out of decision making process. If only we would consider what has eternal value and not the things of man.

As for Carl, once he saw the treat in my hand, he took a step inside the porch door, grabbed the treat and raced inside to recover from the cold. All I could do was shake my head and follow him inside. Will he ever change? Probably not. But I am going to love him anyway. As I looked over, Carl was still shaking and I had to laugh. He reminded me of a freeze pop on a stick.  A Carl pop.img_3032.jpg

Speechless

Carl has been a sleep on the couch all morning.  He has barely stirred. I hope that he is okay but only time will tell. Unlike people, Carl is unable to share with me how he feels or what he is thinking. I can only guess that he is well and just enjoying the warmth of the room on such a bitterly cold day.

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His lack of communication made me think of a sermon that my husband was listening to by T.D. Jakes titled Shut Your Mouth. This preacher was very animated and out right told people that they would have a lot less issues if they would just shut their mouths. As I thought about it, I had to agree.

How often do we get ourselves in trouble when we open our mouths and let filth come out?  Many times, our emotions get the best of us and instead of letting the words get filtered out through our brain, we just let them flow out without regard to the impact they may have on others.

I remember a wise woman who shared with me about how words can be like the feathers in a pillow. Once you open up the pillow and let the feathers out, it is very difficult to retrieve them.  This is the same with words. As much as we might regret what we say, it is very difficult to return our hurtful words to the original source.

James 3:3-6 states, “When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.  Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.  The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

As harsh as it may sound, this is the truth. The tongue can definitely become like a fire that corrupts the whole body. This is why I am going to try harder to listen twice as much as I speak. Isn’t this why God gave us two ears and only one mouth?

I do find it fascinating that God only gave man the ability to communicate with the use of words. (I know there are some birds that can mimic.) As for Carl, he is still lying on the couch and refuses to share with me how he is feeling. Maybe that is for the best.  Either way, I am going to try and do as Carl does today and see if I can learn more when I am speechless.

Vulnerable

Carl is beginning to pipe up and has started that annoying howl that has gotten him in lots of trouble in the recent past. I am not sure why he has started to make this obnoxious noise except that he wants my attention. For the last couple of days, I have been very attentive towards his needs and today was totally different.

With winter weather that has kept us house bound, Carl has enjoyed the knowledge of having a back rub or sitting on a human’s lap.  Every day has been spent either sleeping or trying to get my attention. But these last couple of days Carl has realized that his human mother is not herself.

If any of you out there have turned 50, you know the right of passage that you are faced with.  The dreaded colonoscopy. Every ten years, each of us over 50 are confronted with not only the procedure but the prep that comes with it. I am not going into specifics but I can tell you that this process has lengthened and gotten a little more complicated.

Instead of just one day of prep, the new process includes four days of a low fiber diet which is totally different from the diet that I would have predicted. After eating carbs and bread for four days, the day prior to the procedure I was confronted with a liquid diet that ended with 64 ounces of Gatorade and Miralax.

I haven’t fasted in a while and wondered how I would handle a day without food. For someone who doesn’t want to miss a meal, how would my attitude be when I had to go without?  Around 1:00 in the afternoon, I was beginning to feel the effects of having nothing on my stomach. I could tell that my irritable attitude was rising up from within.

This is when I tried to consume my thoughts with distractions from the Australian Open and later with the NFL playoffs. I was feeling a little vulnerable with the knowledge that I had a ways to go and knew that my stomach wasn’t going to be satisfied for at least another 24 hours.

As I reflect over this experience, a verse in Matthew 17 keeps coming up.  Jesus had just been up to the mountain where He, Moses, and Elijah were transfigured in the presence of several of his disciples. Once He comes back down to the people, He is instantly confronted by a man that desperately wants his son to be healed from a demon.

The man tells Jesus that several of his disciples tried to heal the boy but couldn’t. It was clear the disciples thought they could, but were unable to. When asked by them why the boy couldn’t be healed, Jesus tells them, “However this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”

Prayer and fasting. Why would God want us to fast? Being without food caused me to feel vulnerable. I didn’t feel as in control as I usually do. It is in this state of mind that we can go to God and have a better perspective of who He is. While fasting, I felt weak which made God strong.

As the day went on, Carl could tell that I wasn’t myself and gave me my space. But that evening, when I was at my weakest, I looked over at our little pooch and found him in a prayer stance. I could only smile and thank God for the lessons He has taught me through this little dog.IMG_2906

Wavering Faith

Carl is out with his human dad buying a snow shovel. The guys already have cabin fever after only a couple of hours of snow that could paralyze our community for the next few days. Carl is not much a fan of the snow but he wasn’t going to pass up a chance to spend time in his favorite place in the world, the big black truck.

Once they returned and we had lunch, we all got in our winter gear and made our way out into the winter wonderland. Both Bee and Carl tolerated the wet snow for the chance to get some exercise. The dogs weren’t sure what to think about all the white flakes floating through the air. Every couple of minutes they would shake their bodies sending the snow in all directions.

Sending the snow in all directions reminds me of the night when Jesus was taken by the soldiers in the Garden of Gethsemane. Apparently after Jesus was taken prisoner, all the disciples scattered. And this was only hours after the disciples proclaimed that Jesus was from God.

Many times we can know something in our minds but if the conviction isn’t in our hearts, it won’t impact our lives. James states this perfectly in James 1:5-6 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.

I must admit that my faith can waver like the waves in certain situations. It is so easy to believe God will show up in the times that I feel confident but when I see no hope in certain circumstances, I can begin to doubt. This verse has convicted me and hopefully I will not allow doubt to reign in my heart.

As for Carl and Bee, they continued to shake the flakes from their coats. We ultimately turned back and made our way home to the warmth of our fire place. After entering the house and taking their coats off, it didn’t take long for the two bullies to find a spot where they could remain warm and watch the snow fall from a distance.

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