Category Archives: sickness

Overcoming our Feelings

I am not sure how Carl is feeling about being back under our roof. For the first two days upon returning from a house full of children, he seemed depressed. He basically laid on the couch and slept for the majority of the time. After several days, he now seems to be more content about his present situation.  I am not sure why I care so much about how he feels.

Why should how a person feels be so important to all of us?  I will never forget taking my father in law to the doctors after being diagnosed with lung cancer.  Every time we were approached by a nurse as she escorted us into the examination room we would always be asked the same question. “How are you doing?” Which could be interpreted as “How are you feeling about life?”

I am sure this is just a way to greet people, but in reality, what should we be asking people when we encounter them? Should a person’s feelings be the most important aspect of their being?

I just finished listening to a message by Joyce Myers that really challenged me. She explained that humans are made up of three different parts, the physical body, the soul, and the spirit. A person’s feelings fall under the category of soul along with the mind and will. Deeper into who we are is our spirit that should be dictated by the Holy Spirit and the Holy Scriptures.

She explained that if we live by how we feel or our emotions, than we are not going to experience the joy that comes from living by the Spirit.  Jesus even addresses this in John 15: 11. Since He created us, He knows what will complete us emotionally.

If I remain in Him, I can have joy no matter the circumstances. Even when it involves something as devastating as lung cancer. So how do I remain in Him? By reading the Scriptures when I don’t FEEL like it. It is only through the Scriptures that the Holy Spirit can push through our soul (feelings, mind, and will) and motivate our physical body to do the Will of God.

It was interesting, because just as I was writing this, I had the urge to go over and check on Carl and was tempted to turn the television set on. As I looked down at the dozing dog, I was reminded that I needed to return to what I believe is God’s Will (writing this blog) and dismiss my feelings.

Now that I have completed this entry and getting ready to send it off, I am filled with a sense of contentment that can only come from digging past my soul and pulling out what is of true spiritual value.

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Stuck

I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t find Bee anywhere. She wasn’t snuggled up in front of the fire or buried in her oversized bed. I even checked the bathroom to see if she was cuddled up on one of the bath mats. It had been at least twenty minutes since I last saw her and knew she would come in from the cold temperatures if she could.

I raised the curtain on the French door that led to the backyard and saw my little girl sitting on the top step. I quickly opened the door and called for her to come but she wouldn’t budge.

My first fear was that she had cornered an animal that she didn’t want to give up. I cautiously made my way towards her to inspect what could be her prey. Given that we have had a possum on our porch, I didn’t want to take any chances. And even though most of the snakes have disappeared I couldn’t help but remember the snake that Bee and Carl had literally tore in half just a few feet away from where she was sitting.

After a close inspection, it was clear that she didn’t have a prey so why wouldn’t she come when I called? Even after tempting her with treats, she seemed stuck.

Have you ever felt like you were stuck in life? Stuck in a period of life that no longer brings you the joy that you remember having in your youth.  Stuck in thoughts of wanting something that will bring fulfillment but no matter how hard you try, it just doesn’t come.

Do you remember Let’s Make a Deal, a game show where the contestants had to pick a curtain where they could receive a fabulous gift or a booby prize that was worthless? Sometimes, I think life can be like this. We come to intersections where we have to make decisions that could bring fulfillment or leave us empty and stuck.

In John 15:9-11 Jesus gives us a clear path on how to get us unstuck. He states, “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.

So whenever I feel stuck, I know that I need to get into my Bible and draw close to this man that understands how to give me joy to the fullest.

As for Bee, after not making any attempt to climb that last step, I reached down and brought her inside where she rested until I took her to the vet. After close examination, it was determined that Bee must have tweaked her back. She received a steroid shot, muscle relaxers, and strict orders to rest.

And even though she scared Carl half to death the other night, he took it upon himself to jump up on the couch and draw close.

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Vulnerable

A lot has happened in the last couple of days.  Bee has been having a very difficult time keeping her emotions in check. She and Leo have been fighting more and blood has been spilled too many times to let this arrangement continue. So with a heavy heart, I had to call Leo’s owner and ask for him to be removed from our home.

After a thorough survey of the damages, both Bee and Carl have had some battle wounds that needed to be addressed. A quick trip to the vet unveiled several places that will need an antibiotic to speed the healing.

Since Leo has left, both Bee and Carl seem like different animals. The tension has dissipated and the four of us have slipped back into our familiar routine. Carl no longer has to wonder if he has to share the couch but can take up residence lying on his back with his legs pressed against the cushion.

Many times during the last days, I felt torn emotionally. Feelings of vulnerability swept through me as I tried to break the dogs up. I desperately wanted this arrangement to work but I was just not able to predict the triggers that would send the dogs over the edge.

Most of us don’t like feeling vulnerable. We feel exposed and have nothing to hide behind. Whenever we find ourselves in this position, we assume that God is punishing us. I am sure the Israelites felt this way when they reached the outskirts of Jericho.

This generation of Israelites had been raised in the desert, waiting to go to the Promised Land and their first conquest was the city of Jericho. But before pursuing their enemy, God had one command for all of the men. Joshua 5:2 states, “At that time the Lord said to Joshua, “Make flint knives and circumcise the sons of Israel a second time.”

Did I hear that correctly?  God wants Joshua to circumcise all of the sons of Israel. I am sure most were wondering about the timing of this command. Joshua must have known that they were truly vulnerable with all the men healing from a very painful procedure.

So why then? Why would God command the men to be made weak right before this major battle? Could it be that God knew that it would be easy for the Israelites to win the battle of Jericho and put their trust in themselves and not God?

I know that during those last days of having Leo with us, I struggled with the fact that I couldn’t fix this issue. I didn’t want to believe that I had no power over the situation. So I ended up letting go of the problem and putting it in the hands of God.

Once again, God has demonstrated his will in my life through the actions of my little muse, Carl. As he sleeps peacefully on his section of the couch, I can’t help but thank Him for knowing what is best.

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Staying Close By

Carl is making typing very difficult. I am sitting on the couch next to Leo and of course Carl feels the need to sit with us. Leo spent a couple of days with his family and when he returned we all noticed something different. Instead of his rambunctious self, he chose to sit in place. Given that it was Sunday evening, we all decided to watch him closely and have him seen by his veterinarian in the morning.

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This is Carl watching over Leo

 

Last night Leo spent most of his time sleeping and refused to go up steps. He ate his dinner and then climbed into the bed for the night. I did find it interesting when he didn’t get up to eat when Carl and Bee made their way into the kitchen for their middle of the night breakfast.

 

But it was when I heard something fall that I knew Leo was in trouble. At first I couldn’t find him but when I went into the family room, I saw the little black dog flat on the floor. It was clear that he had collapsed and he couldn’t get himself up.  I ran over, reached down and scooped him into my arms. His body was shaking feverishly and all I could do was hold him close to my heart.

 

During the most difficult times in my life I have been truly comforted when someone has taken the time to stay near me. I will never forget the time that I had severe food poisoning and my husband didn’t leave my side. It was an awful experience for him to endure but even so, he stayed close by.

 

I love Psalm 23:4

“Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;”

 

It is so comforting to know that when we go through challenging situations that God is with us. All we need to do is call out to Him and believe in his faithfulness.

 

As for Leo, his human father picked him up early this morning and took him to the vet. After some probing around, it was found that Leo’s left hip is bothering him. He was prescribed some doggy pain meds and is now resting comfortably.

The cool thing in all this is how compassionate Carl and Bee have been towards Leo. They can sense their four legged friend isn’t feeling up to par and have been very sensitive to his needs.  I am sure it won’t last for long, but I will appreciate these moments when everyone is being kind to one another.

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Bee checking out Leo to see if he is okay.

New Normals

Carl woke from an evening snooze and looked over at the sofa. There, sleeping on his section of what had always been his spot, was the male dog that had made his way into his home and into his owners’ hearts. At first, Carl just stared at the slumbering animal. But then for no reason he jumped down off his father’s lap and went over to the edge of the couch and placed his head level with the pooch.

What happened next was shocking. Carl raised his leg and begun to urinate on the side of the couch. Why had our dog acted in such an inappropriate manner? Was he having to adjust to his new normal?

New normals. They come out of nowhere. Many times with no preparations for how to live through them.  A loved one develops Alzheimer’s and family members are faced with decisions that they have never encountered. A spouse dies and the uninvited new normal moves in.

Two thousand years ago, the most impactful new normal was born. The religious community was shaken to their roots by this event. Herod, the political leader of the day was so intimidated by this child that he had all male babies killed. Why would such a powerful man sink to such a wicked state of mind? Could it be that he didn’t want to live with the new normal?

And ever since this child was born, lived, died, and was resurrected, we have had to learn to adjust to the fact that life doesn’t rotate around us. We can try to brush his existence away by staying busy or feeding ourselves off of the world. But in reality, we will all have to face the truth either during this lifetime or the next.

Once my husband saw what Carl was doing, he moved quickly. With a pointing finger and a harsh word, Carl lowered his leg and moved away from the sofa. Overall, the dogs have adapted to their new normal but as we all know, it can get messy at times.

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A Tender Side of Carl

All is calm. Leo left to go to the groomers and both Carl and Bee are resting quietly. Since Leo has been with us, I have noticed a tender side to Carl as he relates to Bee. He has been very protective of his Frenchie sister. Many times, I have caught him sitting very close to her and nipping tenderly at her ear.

This behavior reminds me of how a courting young man holds his girlfriend close to him. It also paints a picture of how God draws near to us in the midst of difficult situations.

Joseph was a man that went from being his father’s favorite with a promising career to a man who was imprisoned for no valid reason. Throughout the book of Genesis, Joseph’s life is portrayed for all of us in the darkest most trying times of our lives.

I am sure he had no idea why he was sold by his brothers to foreigners. And just when he seemed to be getting his life on track, Potiphar’s wife accuses him of rape and he is wrongly imprisoned. To make matters worse, he is forgotten by Pharaoh’s butler and left in the dungeon for two more years.

How often have we felt forgotten by close friends, family, and even God? It would appear by what had happened to Joseph, he could have focused on being forgotten. But he didn’t. Genesis 39:2-3 tells us, “The LORD was with Joseph, so he became a successful man. And he was in the house of his master, the Egyptian. Now his master saw that the LORD was with him and how the LORD caused all that he did to prosper in his hand.”

Joseph serves as a model to all of us in the depths of our suffering. He could have easily blamed God and become bitter but he didn’t. Instead Joseph focused on God and all the blessings that he had received even in the direst times of his life. Even the Egyptian, an ungodly man, saw this and contributed Joseph’s success to God.

Joseph didn’t understand why he had to go through such suffering but if we study our Bibles, it is clearly stated. In the same way, we don’t understand why we have to experience the trials that we go through but there will be a day when it will be revealed to us.

Watching Carl interact with his sister has been a great reminder of how God wants to comfort us in our times of need. Even though we can’t see God, if we pay close enough attention, we will be able to see the picture He is painting in our lives.

From Old to New

First of all, I want to let everyone know that Carl is doing well. He has stopped coughing and has resumed his normal activity. But whatever Carl had, Bee now has. She has been displaying symptoms for the last couple of days. The only encouragement is that since Carl is now better, I am hoping that she will also get over this sickness.

For two days, Carl, Bee and I were imprisoned in my bedroom while a team of four painters scurried through my house and painted all the walls. Once they were finally finished and we were able to leave the confines of the bedroom, I felt I was going into a new house. With each wall painted and no pictures displayed, it felt like we were at a fresh starting point.

Since I haven’t moved in over thirty four years, it felt good to think I had a new pallet to work with. I could display pictures in an original format and rearrange furniture. It will be the same house but new in many respects.

Jesus shared an interesting parable in Luke 5:37-38 that took some study to understand. He stated, “And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins, the wine will spill, and the wineskins will be ruined. Instead, new wine is poured into new wineskins.”

I am sure the Pharisees were just as perplexed as we are today when hearing this parable. The Pharisees were stuck in their traditions and didn’t want to change how they had worshipped God for centuries. Jesus had challenged their convictions and they not only didn’t like it but wanted him killed. The new wine, Jesus, could not be placed in the old wine skins, the Pharisees’ desire to maintain the power that comes from being religious leaders.

For us today, when we encounter the real Jesus, it will cause us to want to change. He will cause us to have a desire to be different than what we have been. And hopefully, the new wine of Jesus can go into our transformed vessels. As for my house, I am in the process of changing things up. Placing pictures that have meaning in the forefront and packing up pictures that have no significance.

Carl has been perplexed by all the changes but as long as he gets his food and has his usual throne to sleep on, he will be fine.

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