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Expectations

Being married for over 35 years has been a challenge and also a major blessing. As I have grown older and hopefully a little bit wiser, I have learned how to stay content by managing my expectations.

I will never forget the first year of marriage and the psychology class that I took.  We were studying behavior management and I decided to experiment on my husband.  I placed a chart on the refrigerator where I would place a star beside chores he completed. I will never forget the day our preacher came to visit and having some strong words for me.  I never did that again.

When we were married for about seven years, our marriage started to show signs of major decay.  We had one child and lots of hostility.  I can remember coming home from work and feeling each night would spin through the same cycle.  I had worked all day and I felt like I was expected to cook, clean, and get our daughter bathed and put to bed.  When I asked my husband to help me, I would become angry if he ignored me or didn’t perform quickly enough.

Expectations haunted my thoughts.  I was constantly angry whenever I thought about how much I did and how little I thought he did. Thank goodness, I had developed friendships with some God fearing women. They listened to me talk and then gave me some of the best advice I have ever received.  They shared that if I did everything out of love for God and expected nothing from my husband, my marriage would blossom.

Sure enough, over several months of biting my tongue and retraining my thoughts, our marriage showed signs of life. I began expecting nothing from my husband and when he did something to help, I was truly thankful.  We moved away from a cycle of arguing and exhibiting the silent treatment to actually enjoying each other once again.

Now it has been 35 years and we have in no way arrived at the perfect marriage. On the other hand, I can’t imagine life without him. He is my soul mate and knows how to please me unconditionally. I am truly thankful that he has been with me as I go through my transitional journey and will be there when I arrive at my next destination.

Published by Cora Darrah

Hello. My name is Cora. I live in Durham, North Carolina with my husband and two French Bulldogs, Vern and Bee. For thirty-two years, I taught children with unique needs. When I was eligible for retirement, I decided it was time to explore life from a different perspective. So with pen and paper, I have taken up blogging about two of the most extraordinary pets I know. More important than my pooches, is my relationship with God. I love God! He has blessed me with the gift of writing and I want to share what he is teaching me as I look through the eyes of four legged friends. So if you would like to experience how God works in all his creatures, join us on our adventure! When I first started blogging, my Frenchie, Carl inspired me through his crazy antics. But as life has it, Carl had to leave this world at the tender age of four. After a period of mourning for my little guy, I brought Vern home where he has ruled the roost. Oh, did I mention Bee, the Frenchie with a girl attitude and enough spunk to keep Vern in line. Come along beside us as we dive into God’s word and learn morsels of the treasures that only the scriptures can teach us. Vern and Bee would love to get to know you as well, so please feel free to follow us and share your comments….

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