Anxiety has snuck through the back door like a slithering snake finding its way into the crevices of our home. Anxiety, like snakes show up when you least expect it. When you aren’t looking or are so sidetracked by other “more” important issues. That is where I’ve found myself in the last couple of days. Stuck in anxiety.
As I have written, I’ve come to terms with the cancer diagnosis as well as the dreaded upcoming colonoscopy and endoscopy. Or maybe I thought. But each time I went to the doctor’s office, my blood pressure was reading higher and no one seemed to want to address it.
I wouldn’t call myself anxious on a regular basis, but the more I took my blood pressure, the more anxious I’ve become. All I could think of was if I had a stroke or heart attack and it came down to my blood pressure; I would live in regret. A circumstance I don’t ever want to find myself.
So I took action and made an appointment with my general practitioner. And as I entered the room, had the cuff placed around my arm, I hoped for high numbers. Numbers that screamed action. And that is just what I got. But what came next, wasn’t expected. A survey about anxiety and how I was “feeling”. A survey trying to define my present condition.
I have to admit, I could see the reasoning behind the inquiry into my mental health, but in the end, I’m not sure if it helped move me into a better state of mind. I almost felt like I was being placed in a category and being told if I stop doing this and I start doing that, I should be on a road to recovery.
I personally think we humans are more complicated than being given a set of instructions and told if we follow them, everything will be okay. On the other hand, I will take the medication and attempt to follow the advice I was given.
We actually did have a snake on our porch this summer. The long black snake made its way up on the deck and slithered into a small crevice between the screen and the porch. Vern was the first to find the creature and barked incessantly. When I noticed what all the racket was about, I calmly went and called my husband to come remove it.
I can’t help but think of Eve as she came upon the serpent in the Garden of Eden. I just read the other day how God warned Adam of eating of the tree of life before He had created Eve. All this time, I didn’t realize that Eve hadn’t heard God’s instructions and she hadn’t been warned. The serpent took advantage of this, just like the serpent wants to take advantage of our circumstances.
Just being aware, has helped me process what I’m going through. And in the end, I KNOW that I have a loving Father who wants me to trust that He is there to get rid of All the snakes that show up in my life.
