Tag Archives: Grief

Hidden Gifts

It’s time to move on. Carl still lies in the backyard under a mum and a spread of ivy that is covering up where there used to be churned up dirt. Time to look in a different direction. A time for leaving the path that I have been so accustomed to and finally putting it to rest.

Bee’s ears perked up by the mention of a walk. Her body came to life at this simple word. Instead of being told to stay, the temperatures have become perfect for our little Frenchie with her smashed in nose to take to the streets. A time to wiggle her little tail and pull her master around the block.

Now that Bee has taken center stage, her personality has begun to shine. It has always been there but my attention was pulled in another direction. How often do we get distracted by certain things in life that keep us from seeing the gifts that are right in front of us?

So many of the religious leaders that interacted with Jesus missed the gift that God had given to them. For thousands of years, the Jews had been waiting for the Messiah. They had studied the law and knew the scriptures but when Jesus finally arrived, the religious leaders missed the gift.

The love of power and the deep seeded pride of being right had kept them blinded from seeing exactly what they had prayed and yearned for.  Before I can judge these men, I need to reflect on my own life and see what keeps me from seeing the gifts, particularly the gift of Jesus.

I know that the distractions of this world with all of its glamour and pleasantries has kept me from seeing who Jesus is. If I could just move these distractions out of the way, I probably will be surprised at how much clearer I can see who Jesus is.

I have realized from having to go down this altered path in life that there are gifts for us to take hold of. And for me, Bee just happens to be one of them.

Unfamiliar Waters

I am now in unfamiliar waters. Far from the normalcy that I have become accustomed to. Since Carl has left us, life has taken me in a direction that I didn’t choose or predict.

Many times in life, we get diverted and have to figure out how we are going to handle the situation that has been placed in our lives. There is no one that knew this better than the Apostle Paul. Since his conversion, life changed drastically for him.

Paul lost all control of his circumstances. After being imprisoned for his faith, taken on a ship in rough waters, and then shipwrecked on an island called Malta, this man only had his faith in God to rely on. While on the island, he accidently picked up a poisonous snake that bit him. Everyone thought he would die but instead, he lived without any effects of the snake.

Malta was a place that Paul did not plan on going to. He probably wondered how God would use him on such a small remote island in the middle of nowhere. But He did. Just like Paul, I am in a place that I was not expecting to be in without my little writing buddy by my side.

God has given me Bee, my other French bull dog to help fill the gap. She has been a little lost since Carl has left us, but enjoying all the extra attention a one dog family affords. She has been quick to get in my husband’s lap and come by my side for extra petting. Just this morning, she truly enjoyed a walk around the block without having to fight her way to the front.

Just like Bee, I need to be willing to look forward and not towards the past. And if I do, hopefully, I will understand how to find God’s presence in the midst of unfamiliar waters.

Good Bye Sweet Carl

As my husband and I embraced each other, we couldn’t stop crying and shaking from our loss. Carl was laid to rest today under the trees in our backyard, next to our English Bull dog, Sally.

What started as a normal day in our household, ended tragically for all of us. I would have never thought that I would be writing these words to all of you who have followed the life and antics of my little French Bull dog. But I do believe that I owe it to you to let you know that this sweet little dog who has provided so many smiles and tears has left this world.

Grief fills my heart right now. Just thinking about Carl causes my eyes to well up and a sinking feeling to set in. My tendency is to stay busy and distracted so I won’t feel. It just hurts too much to think that I will never see him again.

Bee has been extra attentive towards us in the last couple of hours. She has followed us around and seems to know that something isn’t right. I am not sure if she is sad or grateful for being the only dog.

This coming Wednesday, I am releasing my new book Empty Hands. I have wondered why I gave this book this name. But given the broken heart that I am feeling and the thoughts of being empty, this title is making more sense to me as I mourn.

I will send a link for all of you who would like to purchase a copy in the next couple of days.

But for right now, please keep my husband and I in your prayers.

I am not sure if I will continue this blog. It just doesn’t make sense right now. We have no plans to replace Carl. As you all know, there is no way to replace this sweet dog that filled our hearts with such joy and happiness.

In the love of Christ,

Cora