Tag Archives: Faith

Carl’s Feelings of Defeat

Carl lay on the floor and looked like he had been totally defeated. He had been crying out for my attention and I was too busy to give it to him. So when he realized that he wasn’t going to receive it, he lay on the floor in udder defeat.

Defeat. It comes in many different forms. Some are huge hits to our ego while others can be tolerated. I play a lot of competitive tennis and with it comes wins and defeats. But one thing I have realized when I lose a match, my life doesn’t change once I am off the court.

Then there are the big defeats. Several years ago after retiring from teaching, I decided to start a tutoring business. I began with an air of arrogance that I would easily find clients. But this isn’t what happened. Time and time again, I would talk with potential clients and they would decide not to use my services.

The feelings of inadequacy swept over me with every rejection. I questioned my skills and three decades of experience. What would seem an easy transition turned into a defeat.

But my experience was nothing compared to what the Disciples of Christ felt when their leader was tortured and then killed on the cross.  All of their hopes and dreams of a worldly kingdom with Christ as their king came crashing down as the blood dripped onto the ground.

This was supposed to be the greatest downfall in history. But what appeared to be a totally hopeless situation changed into the most ultimate victory of all time. And because of this spiritual triumph our defeats can also be transformed. For me, it ended up to be a blessing that my tutoring business didn’t work.  God had other plans for me.

As for Carl, he got a super long walk this morning and a lot of verbal stroking that made his ears perk up and his body walk in a self- confident strut.  And as I observed my pooch swaggering down the street, I smiled and thank God for my defeats that have been transformed into victories.

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Needy

Calling Carl needy is an understatement. If he is left in the backyard, it won’t take him long before the howling begins. If I come home after a few minutes of being gone, Carl will act like I have been gone for days. But the one time that he acts the neediest is when I come back from taking Bee on a walk. When we enter through the door, the little bully can’t contain himself. He is jumping up and pushing Bee out of the way so that I can only give him his desired attention.

Being needy can be considered a weakness by many people. But not to God.  He looks at our hearts and the need we have for Him. Even if we mess up, God will forgive us if He can see our desire to have a relationship with Him. This is demonstrated in the book of 1 Samuel during a very dark period for David.

David was tired of being hunted down by King Saul. He was relentless and wouldn’t stop until David was dead. This had been going on for years and David had been worn down. He wanted to please God but his faith had waned. So what does he do? Lies. Not just once but many times.

Now King Saul was also a sinner. After the Philistines had marched towards the Israelites to begin war, Saul tried to confer with God and got no response. So without regard to God, he visits a witch to find out his destiny. The spirit of Samuel, the prophet appears to her and to Saul. And what he says is not the news that Saul was looking for. He tells him that he and his sons will be killed in battle.

So why would God save this man and have King Saul killed? Only one reason. Because even though David’s lack of faith led him to lie, he ultimately had a desire for a deep relationship with God. If you read the Psalms that David wrote during this time, it is clear that he has a deep need for his maker.

This inspires me a great deal as I struggle through this life. When I think about how David’s life was spared and how he ultimately became king, I am encouraged.  So as Carl comes up to me with a look of need in his eyes I will reflect on how much God wants me to need Him.

Thank you God for using my little dog to help me see my need for You.

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Walking Through Doors

Carl spotted the small animal from the inside window grazing in our back yard. His ears perked up and his body stood erect. After a short shallow growl, he moved toward the doggy door and waited for it to open before rushing out into the great outdoors.

I am sure the animal was caught off guard to see a dog come from the other side of a wall.  But before it could think, it had to get to the fence and climb up and over before the bully had a chance to attack.

It is amazing how today you can find remote controlled doggy doors that are triggered by an electric impulse. But what is more amazing is knowing that someone actually walked through walls.

In John 20:19-20 the Bible states, “On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 20 After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.”

Did you see that? The doors were locked but Jesus came and stood among them. Isn’t it encouraging to know that Jesus can walk through walls? What walls in your life do you think Jesus can’t get through?

I know for me, there are times that my lack of faith can build a wall that I wonder if Jesus can get through. During these times, I need to go back to this passage and remember that Jesus can get through any wall that I may build.

As for Carl, as long as he wears his collar with the remote controlled opener, he will be able to come and go as he chooses. In and out without any problem. So if Carl can go in and out as he pleases, why is it so hard to believe that Jesus can’t do the same?

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My Lost Dog

We were on our way home. Just as we were going to turn the corner at the top of the hill, Carl got loose and ran as fast he could. I called his name but he was determined to run ahead towards our house. But what he didn’t know was there was a gang of dogs waiting for him.

When I finally got up to the top of the hill, I looked over to see Carl being chased past our house and down the road. A sense of dread swept over me as my little dog fled for his life. My dog was now lost from my view and I felt totally helpless.

This experience reminded me of a time when my daughter was only five years old. We were staying at a beach house with several different families. One midday, we decided to go out for lunch. Everyone packed into three vehicles and made our way to the restaurant. As we all began to unload, it was clear that my five year old daughter was not with us.

This was the time before cell phones and there was no way to contact her. My husband and I jumped back in the car and made the fifteen minute drive back to the beach house. Crazy thoughts raced through my mind as we rushed back.

God demonstrates through his word that He knows how it feels to be a parent of a lost child. In Luke 15, Jesus shares a parable about a wealthy man and his two sons. One son wanted to leave and take his inheritance. I am sure this hurt the father as he watched his son walk away with the possibility of never seeing him again. The story describes how the son squandered all his money and eventually took a job feeding pigs. After he finally came to his senses, humbled himself, he journeyed home to experience the consequences of his actions.

The father could have easily reprimanded his son but instead he demonstrated God’s true nature. Luke 15:20 states, “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.”

I am so thankful for this verse and the knowledge that no matter what we do, God has compassion for us and only desires for our return.

As for my daughter, she was waiting for us on the porch with a relieved expression across her face. As I wiped my own tears of thankfulness, I apologized and gave her a huge hug.

I couldn’t find Carl. No matter how hard I tried, he was lost. The sense of loss was so real I almost started crying. It was then that I woke myself up and looked over to where Carl was sleeping peacefully. As if he knew I was concerned about him, he raised his head and looked up at me with his soft brown eyes. Thankfully, what had seemed so real was only a dream.

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Bee and My Strong Willed Bully

A friend helped me see something about Carl and Bee that I never thought of before. Believe it or not, Bee is the alpha dog. All this time, I thought Carl was the dominant dog and ran the show. But as I think about it, Carl is only fighting for the place at the top that will probably never be his.

This little black and white dog with the less assertive demeanor is running the show. She has the little fawn colored male just where she wants him, under her spell.

All my life, I have been trying to figure out where I stand in regard to how I am perceived by others. Growing up in a large family with many strong personalities, I was definitely nowhere near the top of the pecking order. With my own strong personality being pushed down instead of encouraged upward, life was hard in my younger years.

But God had a better life in store for me as an adult. He designed a life for me that fit my personality and desires. He placed me with a wonderful man that loves me and encourages me to fulfill my dreams.

Many women I have encountered think that God only views them as second ranked citizens, wanting only for them to be submissive to their husbands and quiet unless spoken to. But this isn’t the God I know. He demonstrated over and over again how much He loves women and wants their needs met.

In John 19:25-27 it states, “Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman,[b] here is your son,” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”

But what caught my eye in the scriptures was the next verse. “Later, knowing that everything had now been finished.” Jesus could have easily died without taking care of his mother without it impacting his ultimate purpose. But He didn’t. Instead, his last action was to take care of this special woman in his life.

So why can’t we believe as women that He won’t take care of our needs? Even if our needs include a strong personality and desires at an older age.

I have a lot to learn from my little dog Bee. She may not have the personality that Carl has but she does have the confidence to stand her ground against our strong willed bully.

Bee is starred in a book that I have written called Seasons at the Bus Stop. If you are interested in purchasing this children’s book, please visit my website at Beeafriendbooks.com.

Carl’s Leap Forward

Bee can’t jump but Carl can. A couple of years ago, Carl went to stay with some neighbors and he came back jumping. Even though Carl and Bee are very similar in stature, Carl has been practicing the art of raising his body and leaping onto the furniture.

What causes one person to be able to leap through life higher than others? Why are some content with staying on the ground while others are jumping to new heights? David gives us a glimpse of how God is ready and waiting to give anyone who asks, a push upward.

In my previous blog, David had just been anointed as king. But he didn’t take on this role until much later. Instead, he returned to the pastures and the sheep that he had surrounded himself with. No one considered much of him.  But God did. He was grooming David by placing him out in the pasture where he was forced to kill both a bear and a lion.

It is hard to imagine how this young adolescent felt about what he could accomplish after he slayed these two animals. But I am sure his confidence in God had increased as he thought back on these events.

So when David witnessed the harassment of the Israelites by a Philistine giant, he knew what he had to do. Even when his brothers and King Saul tried to convince him that he was crazy, he pursued the mission of killing the giant.

Why would David take on Goliath when all the others pulled back in fear? In 1 Samuel 17:26 David asks, “For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?”

It is clear from this question that David not only believed in God but knew Him intimately. This relationship was so real that David couldn’t stand by and allow this nine foot bully to intimidate the army of the living God.  While all the other men stood on the ground focusing on serving a hollow king, David was already leaping into a spiritual battle.

There are many times that I should be focused on our living God but instead my eyes are stuck on mortals with no power. But when I turn my attention on to God, you may see me soaring through life.

Just this evening, Carl took another leap onto the couch and made himself comfortable. Poor Bee was left with her front paws up on the furniture wondering how Carl could get himself up so high. But don’t feel too sorry for her. I bought her a deluxe bed that her brother is not allowed on. My only concern is that he will mark his territory when I am not looking. Time will only tell.

Living in the Shadows

For the last week, Carl has been living in the shadows. I never thought there would be a day that Carl would not be in the center of our home’s attention. But given our grandchildren are staying with us, Carl has been living his life beyond the forefront.

There are many of us that never live in the forefront. We may appear insignificant to the masses and walk around without ever being noticed. We may have mundane occupations that never receive the awards and accolades that others we know receive.

What is interesting is as I read the story of David, I have realized he is one of us. When Samuel went to anoint a son of Jesse to become king,  he thought he knew exactly who would be chosen. Samuel asked Jesse to present his sons to him. The first son to parade before God was Abinadab. Since Jesse chose him first, he must have had a special place in his father’s heart. But God told Samuel that he would not be king.

As Jesse called Shammah, he must have thought that it had to be this son. If it wasn’t Abinadab it must have been this strong young man that demanded the attention of others. Perfect candidate for being a king. But once more, Samuel hears no word from God.

I can’t imagine how Jesse felt as the sons that he would have chosen paraded by the prophet without even a second glance. All seven of them didn’t even get a nod.

Then Samuel asks Jesse if this was all of his sons. Just the thought of not even being considered states a lot about how Jesse felt about David. Can you imagine how David must have been treated as a child if he isn’t even a blimp on the radar?

Jesse responds by telling Samuel that there is one more BUT there is no way God would be considering anointing him.  He is out shepherding the sheep. A job that would be given to servants or ones that you don’t want around. I am sure Jesse must have been thinking that Samuel had it all wrong. Why would God want David?

In the isolation of the fields, God had been preparing David for his position as king over Israel. The lonely nights where David only had God to speak with and to rely on. God knew David’s heart. He knew that in this mundane, out of the forefront life, God had a man that he could etch into the greatest king that was ever known.

This encourages me as I sit here and peck out words that I believe God put on my heart. For so many years of working in a classroom without recognition and being the youngest of five. I can relate to David. I know that I was never chosen to be a king but I do believe I was chosen to be a child of God.

As for Carl. The grandchildren will eventually go home and he will once again return to the forefront of our attention. But until then, you can find our little pooch living in the shadows.

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